My First Trimester of Pregnancy: Part II

Hey babes! This post is Part II of “My First Trimester of Pregnancy”. If you aren’t caught up on Part I, check it out right here!

In this post I am going to finish sharing my first trimester experiences and some challenges I faced. As always, I want to thank you for following along on this crazy journey of mine!

My First Trimester of Pregnancy: Part II

If you’ve read my previous blog post, I shared the many symptoms I experienced in the first three months of my pregnancy. I am so grateful to of had a pretty easy first trimester, however it wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns.

Aside from the little bit of nausea and the many food aversions, I experienced so much bloat! No matter what I ate I always felt heavy and bloated. I decided to wait until Part II to share this symptom because it wasn’t a little bit of bloating here and there. It was a constant thing and I looked way more pregnant than I actually was. Even though I knew it was a symptom of pregnancy, it really started to mess with my mind and how I viewed my body.

I think one thing us women don’t talk enough about is body shaming during pregnancy. Our bodies are going through these crazy changes at a rapid pace and it can shake your mindset. Coming from a past of disorder thinking and over working my body, this part of pregnancy was very hard for me to get used to.

I can say the extreme bloating does pass, or at least it has for me, and my mindset is much better. Again, I wanted to touch on this topic because it often seems to be overlooked. If you are going through something similar, know that just like most things, it will pass. After all, you’re growing a human inside of you! Allow yourself to breathe and enjoy this precious time.

Like I’ve said a few times, I like to think I was blessed with an easy first trimester. Or easy to me because I wasn’t hunched over the toilet. However, around 4 weeks of pregnancy I was in the Emergency Room waiting for what I thought would be another let down but at the same time holding onto to all the hope I had.

It all started one Saturday morning when we were at brunch. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and when I looked down I saw a little bit of blood. If you’re familiar with pregnancy, then you know some light bleeding in the beginning can be very normal. Alarmed at what I saw, I automatically flashed back to when I had my miscarriage. This was like déjà vu. Instead of dwelling on the could be’s and what if’s, I took a road trip with my friend and put it out of my head.

Moving onto later that night I decided to call the on-call doctor just in case. She told me exactly what I thought she would, don’t worry but call back if it continues or gets worse. I went to sleep that night and the next three days went as normal.

Soon it was Wednesday morning and I was at work, feeling pretty good. I stepped away from my desk to go to the bathroom and when I looked down there it was again, the bleeding. Only this time it was much worse. I immediately started crying because the amount of blood I saw made me believe it was in fact another miscarriage. I called my husband and we debated whether or not I should go to the ER (if it was a miscarriage there is nothing they can do so it would be a wasted trip if that was the case). However, something in me was saying “GO”! So, I picked up my husband and we went to the ER.

Still crying, knowing the news I was most likely going to get, I spoke with several doctors who consoled me with stories of similar situations. Another miscarriage? Are you kidding me? But this time it was different.

Unlike when I had my miscarriage, I didn’t have any cramping or pain, just heavy bleeding. For whatever reason, I had a lot of hope, that this wasn’t what we thought it was going to be. Mark told me not to get my hopes up but I just knew. I knew everything would be okay.

I went in for an ultrasound and some more tests. I waited and waiting some more. Than the doctor came back in and said “did she show you your baby?” I replied back with “What??? NO?!”. She asked me for my phone and said she would be right back. When she came back she was showing me pictures of my ultrasound, pointing at a tiny white speck. That tiny white speck was our BABY! This was our first time seeing our little peanut and although I was SO happy the baby was okay, I still wondered why I was bleeding.

The doctor went on to tell me I had hemorrhage in my uterus that wasn’t affecting me or the baby (THANK GOODNESS). So, what did that mean? Apparently, hemorrhages are actually really common and caused by anything- stretching the wrong way, lifting something, coughing, etc. My only restrictions were to lay low for the next week and don’t do anything more than walking. It seems like a lot considering I am an active individual but it being my first trimester made it pretty easy to relax.

I shared this in Part I but this was the ultrasound the doctor showed. That tiny white speck is our little peanut! You can also see my hemorrhage in this but it is very hard to explain where to look/where it is.

I would say I bled on and off for about two weeks. I had ultrasounds every week for about a month to check on the hemorrhage and baby of course. It was a special treat to get to see our little babe weekly for a while, definitely missing that now lol.

Looking back, it doesn’t seem all that scary, even though in the moment I was freaking out. I didn’t even know hemorrhages were even a thing, or that common, in pregnancies. Here I was having one though. It was definitely a reminder to slow down and don’t try to do it all- I am growing a human.

I hope you enjoyed reading all about my first trimester because it was fun to write it all down and share it with you! I’ll be sure to keep you updated on Instagram and with more posts in the future! As always, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to shoot me a message!

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page

(@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.

My First Trimester of Pregnancy: Part I

This post is long overdue as I am officially in my seventeenth week of pregnancy. I had all the intentions to sit down and write it out for you guys but these last several months have been so spontaneous. I feel like I am finally starting to get into my routine again and find my new normal. I’ve been saying that for weeks now, I know, but each week I am getting closer and closer to sorting out these constant life changes. If you have no idea about the craziness my life has been, you can read all about it here in my previous blog post.

Now let’s get chatting! By now you know I am pregnant with mine and my husband’s first baby! Each day presents itself with a new set of emotions and challenges and I’ve been (mostly) loving this rollercoaster of a ride!

I decided to do a blog series (as well as video series via YouTube and IGTV) to help document my pregnancy. I believe pregnancy is a big deal, especially your first, so I want to remember everything as much as I can. I also want to have these glimpses into the past when my children are all grown up. If you haven’t read the first post of my pregnancy series, you can find that post right here.

Like I said, this post is long overdue as I am almost halfway through my entire pregnancy! However, I wanted to make sure I touched on the first precious moments of my journey and answer all the questions I’ve received.

I want to preface this post with this…

Every pregnancy is different. Every woman is different. Please do not take this post and compare it you those you know or yourself. This is simply my own personal experience that I decided to share. As always, I hope you can take this post and use it as inspiration.

My First Trimester of Pregnancy: Part I

My first trimester was nothing like I expected it to be. However, I was fully prepared for the worst, although hoping for the best. I like to think I was somewhere stuck right in the middle.

When you hear the word “pregnancy” you think of morning sickness right away. And well, that’s usually what’s expected! I know I sure expected it. Like I said, I was prepared. I was taking my prenatal and a b6 vitamin well before I knew I was pregnant. I had the house stocked with crackers, ginger tea, ginger candy, and basically anything else that was said to alleviate morning sickness.

I’m happy to report back and say my first trimester of pregnancy was a breeze compared to the average woman. And I am SO GRATEFUL. So so soooo grateful.

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset — This was Memorial Day weekend- I had NO idea I was pregnant. Especially because I had just had a miscarriage April 30th.

If you know me, you know I have an irrational fear of vomit. I hate throwing up and I hate when other people throw up. So, I was going to do anything to prevent it. I like to think my healthy diet and lifestyle pre-pregnancy had a lot to do with how well my first trimester went. I also like to think I prepared my body with b6 vitamins which is what the doctor usually prescribes to women that do suffer from nausea. (Pregnancy depletes the body of b6 which is one of the main causes of morning sickness, along with the drastic hormonal changes occurring in the body. So, taking a b6 supplement pre-pregnancy made sure my body wasn’t as depleted. ASK YOUR DOCOTOR BEFORE TAKING ANY ADDITONAL MEDICATION OR SUPPLEMENTS). While I like to think my lifestyle choices blessed me with an easy first trimester, I truly believe I was one of the lucky ones. Beginner’s luck if you will, lol.

Don’t get me wrong though. I had my fair share or symptoms. Although I didn’t have extreme nausea or vomiting, I did experience some nausea. There really wasn’t a specific time of day it would hit, it was mainly all day. It wasn’t like I was running toward the toilet either. It was more of a full belly type of feeling and loss of appetite. Any nausea I did have though was usually treated using ginger tea with lemon as well as my essential oils. Overall, I could function fine on a day to day basis.

Our very first ultrasound. This was a scary and nerve wracking one as it wasn’t our 8 week appt. I had severe bleeding and was in the ER. I thought I was having a miscarriage again but that tiny white speck is our baby!!! (More on this part of the journey later).

I may have not been running to the bathroom to stick my head in the toilet, but I did have A LOT of food aversions. Food aversions are funny. Like everything in pregnancy, they vary from woman to woman. I kind of shrugged them off like “yeah, I doubt I will have any.” HA! For me, I pretty much lived off of carbs and sugar. Yup, real refined cane sugar. Shocker, I know. I hated most protein, all veggies, and almost all of my go to snacks. Coffee and matcha were another aversion, so I stuck to black tea. I basically ate whatever I was craving at the time. I would say the first trimester is the most expensive because everything in your fridge you hate, and you don’t know what you want until you want it. As much as I wanted to feed my body all of my go-to staples, I just couldn’t stomach it. I ate what I wanted for a little while, knowing my body would always tell me what I need. More on this later.

Aside from the aversions, sensitivity to smells were another game changer for me. While most gross smelling scents that would normally bother me, didn’t, everything else did. For example, the one smell that would actually make me dry heave was the refrigerator. No matter how many times we cleaned it or what food was kept in there, I couldn’t open it without gagging. It got so bad that one day my husband opened it up like three times in ten minutes that I just broke down in tears, bawling my eyes out. Yup, pregnancy hormones.

One of the first signs of pregnancy, other than the obvious positive test result, was exhaustion. I’m not talking about the kind where you wake up early and have a long day. I’m talking about the kind where it feels like you’ve stayed up for a week straight, running in circles, all while coming down with the flu. Exhaustion during pregnancy is seriously no joke. I would wake up after a good night’s sleep and be tired by ten 10 a.m. I was taking naps every day and couldn’t be out longer than a few hours at most. This showed a lot on my Instagram and blog as I didn’t post for almost a good two months. I praise all of the women who work full time and/or have children already- you are killing it.

More ultrasound pictures! I was about 6 weeks here, give or take.

I’m going to end it here as this post is way longer than I thought it would be. I will continue part two of my first trimester later this week. Thank you for reading and following along on my journey!

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.

Life Update: Pregnancy, Promotions, and End of Summer Adventures (+ what I’ve been up to)

Hi babes! I am happy to be finally sharing another blog post with you all! As you can probably tell, life has been absolutely crazy in my neck of the woods and I’ve just been really enjoying soaking it all in. However, I have also been neglecting my blog and I truly miss writing posts and sharing them with all of YOU! I am re-dedicating myself to blogging and will be sharing a new blog post every week starting the month of September. But, before I do that I thought I would get you up to speed at where I’ve been and what’s happening in my world.

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First and foremost, if you haven’t heard, I am pregnant!!! I shared this amazing news about six weeks ago and have been pretty lazy at updating you guys since then, lol. I had planned on making my next post be all about my first trimester, but I feel like I’ve been so inconsistent that breaking up my pregnancy posts with a life update would be better, so, here we are! If me being pregnant is brand new news to you, I wrote all about it here. In this first pregnancy blog post I answered the most commonly asked questions and shared my thoughts on pregnancy thus far! I also have a short IGTV video in conjunction with the post and will continue filming videos for you guys along the way (including more detailed videos via YouTube). Up next on the blog regarding my pregnancy journey, you will get to read all about my first trimester, complications I experienced, and my miscarriage story (plus our gender reveal!!!). As you can tell I have a lot in the works and cannot wait to share it with everyone!

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Throughout the crazy wild journey of pregnancy life has also been throwing us more great things our way and I couldn’t be more grateful. The same week we announced our pregnancy, my husband, Mark, got promoted. For those of you who don’t know he is in the Air Force and has been waiting for this big promotion for quite a while! I couldn’t be prouder of him and his career goals!

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If all of that excitement wasn’t enough, we also bought a new car AND a puppy! Call us freaking crazy but July (and August) were so good to us. We knew we were going to need a new car once baby came so we started shopping around for my new mom car. We stumbled upon a brand-new beautiful Jeep Cherokee. For Mark and I this is huge as it is our very first NEW car. I named her Chloe and she’s been the dream car I’ve always wanted.

Now, moving onto the puppy situation. A lot of you thought I was absolutely insane for getting a puppy while pregnant. Maybe I am little, but he is SO worth it. We (okay, just me really, lol) have been looking to get a second pup so our German Shepard, Cheyenne, wouldn’t be bored and alone. Charlie kind of just popped out of thin air and I put my trust in the universe that this was the dog I’ve been searching for. Charlie is a boxer/pitbull/mastiff mix and an absolute bundle of joy. Don’t get me wrong, puppies are a lot of work, but he makes me the happiest fur mama ever.

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In the beginning of August, I then had one of my best friends from back home visit me in Montana. She was here for a short time, but we managed to do a lot while she was in town. I got to take her to Glacier National Park and despite the wildfires and excessive heat, we had a great time. Having a familiar face in Montana was very refreshing.

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Last, but not least, as of more recently, Mark re-enlisted into the Air Force for another five years. This is another big step in his career and I was so honored to be there when he swore in. I know how much he loves his career and serving others so I cannot wait to see what he will do in these next several years (and where we will go after here!!!).

Over time I have learned life is always going to be crazy. It is a thought that often pops into my head and I am slowly learning to accept it. I’m learning to roll with the punches and go with ebbs and flows of life. While some days I wish for a “break” or a lull in the chaos, I am reminded just how grateful I am for this life I live. And I’m even more grateful that I get to share it with all of you.

If you managed to read all the way through this post, thank you. I have a lot coming in the next few weeks and it just feels really good to be getting back on track.

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.

I’M PREGNANT!!!

Well, by now the news is out and you know the biggest secret I’ve ever kept! I’M PREGNANT!!! Surprise! You have no idea how happy I am to be typing these words for the world to read! This has been such a tough secret to keep since I basically tell you guys everything!

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If you read the blog post previous to this, then you know I spent a large chunk of this summer off of social media. The truth is, it was because I was pregnant! I had zero energy or motivation to take pretty pictures and let alone share them with inspirational words. It was extremely hard to keep my cool and not completely blow my cover. Was I that obvious?! Lol. Either way, I am just over the moon happy to have finally shared the news with you guys.

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In classic Devon Jade nature, I will be blogging about my whole experience starting with this post! I will also be doing posts for each trimester and anything that strikes some inspo in my mind!

For this post I am just covering the basic question I’ve been getting but will go into more detail in later posts.

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I’m Pregnant!!!

We have been slowly spilling the beans to family and close friends over the last month and I’m so glad I get to share this news with you. I’ve also been getting a lot of the same questions that I’m sure most first-time moms receive so I thought I’d answer them in one big blog post!

Did you plan this or was it a surprise?

I’m not sure why people care but they do, and we have gotten this question a ton. YES, this pregnancy was 110% planned!!! And I think whether it was planned or not, Mark and I would be thrilled either way because we have always talked about having kids since we first met.

How far along are you/when are you due?

At the moment as I’m typing this I am 10 weeks pregnant. However, when I share the news and this post I will be 11 weeks! Baby Devine is due early February! (An Aquarius like me)!

How did you find out?

There’s a little back story to this which I already plan on writing a whole blog post going into more detail buuuut the short story is…I was seeing the doctor for a follow-up exam because I had a miscarriage about a month prior to the visit. It was routine to take a pregnancy test for my appointment and surprise, I was pregnant (about 4 weeks when I found out)! Although finding out this way was quite the surprise, we were trying so we were, of course, hoping for good news!

How did you tell your husband?

Like I mentioned above, I was at the doctor’s so Mark was at work when I found out. I had to stop at Target on the way home, so I picked up a card and put the results inside. I gave it to him as soon as he got home and we both were soooooo happy! I decided to keep it between us because after going through what we already went through, it’s hard to not want to hold your breath. I have a video from our first pregnancy and his reaction was priceless- and he was still just as excited the second time around. I can’t wait to see him as a dad!

Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?

This seems to be another common question. Obviously, we want a baby that is happy and healthy! I think there are amazing benefits to having either gender and we cannot wait!

Are you finding out the gender?

YES. Are you kidding?! This mama does not have patience to wait until February- I want to know NOW!!!

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That sums up the most common questions we’ve gotten asked so far! I have been getting many questions about my first trimester and I will be writing a whole blog post answering those questions separately! Until then, THANK YOU sooo much for all the love and support!!!

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.

24 Things I Learned While Planning My Wedding

Yesterday officially marked ONE full month that Mark and I have been married…WHAT?!?! I can’t believe it’s been that long already considering it still feels like it just happened yesterday! It feels absolutely amazing to be married and finally starting our lives as husband and wife.

Although we didn’t have a traditional wedding, click here to read all about it, we still did a lot of wedding planning and got a real taste of what wedding planning is truly like. Today I am sharing everything I learned in this crazy process of wedding planning.

These are things I learned while in the process and not everyone will have the same experience as me. So, with that said, please be kind and understand we all lead different lives and have different expectations!

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24 Things I Learned

While Planning My Wedding

There are A LOT of different options which makes decision making extremely hard.
Even though you’ll probably change your mind 5638745 times, going in with a plan/idea in mind will help you out tremendously.
You WILL change your mind about something, or everything.
Take your time- there’s no rush to tie the knot!
Save money!!! This may sound obvious, especially if you’re paying for it all like Mark and I did, but even if your wedding is paid for I still suggest saving money.
You will learn who your true friends are. You know how people said this when you graduated high school and went to college? Well I think it’s more relatable when you’re getting married.
Be yourself. Seriously. Don’t compare your wedding ideas to someone else’s because it’ll ruin any expectations you have. Besides, your wedding will never be/look the same as theirs.
Shop around for venues, photographers, catering, etc. While the first one may seem like the perfect fit, it doesn’t hurt to look at all your options to find the very best fit for you and your spouse!
Have fun with it.
Either hire a wedding planner or learn how to be organized yourself because you’ll want to keep track of every address, deposit, thank you card, head count etc.
Take full advantage of testing out the food from caterers and bakeries…who doesn’t love free food?!
Don’t let society or anyone in your life tell you how your big day should be.
Be prepared (as much as you can be) for any weather changes or really anything you can’t control.
Let go, because you CAN’T control it all.
Allow yourself to dream.
At the end of the day, any final decisions made should only matter to you and your fiancé.
It’s super easy to feel guilty when all of your guests aren’t happy but it’s YOUR day so even though they may mean a lot to you, they should be supporting you.
As soon as you say the word wedding prices go up about $100 no matter what you’re purchasing, lol.
Take in every single second of your big day. Seriously. Even if you’ve felt like you took it all in, stand back and take it in some more because it’ll be over in a blink of an eye.
DANCE…a lot.
Don’t listen to people who tell you how your big day is going to be, because chances are it was like that for THEM, not necessarily going to be the same for you. (ex. Everyone told me I wouldn’t have time to eat and I ate all freaking night).
Don’t fret about ruining your shoes or dress because it’s going to happen, especially at any outdoor wedding.
Know your worth, you deserve this day.
FOLLOW YOUR F*CKING HEART.

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.

Why My Husband and I Cancelled Our Wedding

I am a huge advocate for following your heart and going with your gut instinct. I believe life is way too short to be doing things that make you unhappy. In this highly judgmental society, we are way too often pushed and pulled in different directions to make friends, family, and even strangers happy. What we don’t realize is, it is making us (generally speaking) unhappy.

It’s easier said than done, I get it. You want to be liked by everyone, you don’t want to disappoint your family, or let down your friends. Reality check, it’s going to happen no matter how hard you try to please everyone. And in the end the only one who will be hurt the most is you. It took me quite a while to fully understand this concept but once I accepted myself and started living for me, it became pretty easy. And since then, I live life by my own rules and I’ve never been happier.

As you probably already know, Mark and I decided to cancel the wedding we were planning for over the last year and get married in our favorite city instead. Of course, everyone invited already knew and we informed them with all of the details, but for everyone else it came as quite the surprise. We immediately got asked a million questions, the most common one being “why?”. And then it was usually followed up with a “I’m so sorry you had to cancel the wedding.”. First off, stop apologizing. We understand you mean well, but we aren’t sad or upset with the outcome. We didn’t have to cancel the wedding, that was our decision we made. And secondly, we cancelled the wedding because we were following our hearts. We weren’t happy with our original plans, so we made a choice to do what made us happy! And that’s the damn truth.

Why My Husband and I

Cancelled Our Wedding

I would like to preface this blog post by saying this was not written to upset, anger, or confuse anyone. I decided to write this post not only for myself, but to answer the lingering questions so many of you have.

Anyone who has planned a wedding, got married, or is still in the process, you know all of the emotions that come along for the ride. Stress, happiness, indecisiveness, maybe a little anger, bittersweet moments, joy, love…basically every emotion you could possibly feel. Mark and I were over the moon happy to plan our dream wedding and share it with everyone we loved. However, it didn’t always feel like it was reciprocated back to us.

Early 2017, we made a decision to have our wedding in the middle of Glacier National Park, Montana instead of back home on the East Coast. It was like my forest wedding dreams were coming true. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but, if I’m being honest, Mark and I were paying for this whole wedding ourselves (Mark even got a second job specifically for the wedding. S/o to my man!!!). We couldn’t comfortably afford to be flying back to the East Coast to plan a wedding. So, we broke the news to all of our friends and family and couldn’t wait to have them see the place that we now call home. The response when we told everyone the news wasn’t quite what we expected. Almost half of our guest list panicked as to how they were going to get here, how long they would have to stay, upset they had to rearrange their family vacation, etc etc etc. There was more concern than there was excitement. And again, this is in no way calling anyone out or complaining. This is our story.

The wedding wasn’t until several months away so we figured they would come around and get more excited as the date got closer. So, on we went. We booked the most beautiful venue, found a photographer, dj, and even someone to bake us a gluten free, dairy free, egg free wedding cake! We were on a freaking roll!

Everything was going great until in a blink of an eye, it wasn’t. It started with our photographer/graphic designer. We had gotten our engagement photos done in August and were eager to get them back and create our Save The Dates (which we wanted to send out by end of October). November rolls around and we still don’t have our engagement photos (only about 50 of the 200 promised) and we had no Save The Dates even designed! Trying to remain calm we let this little bump in the road pass us by. Unfortunately, that should have been a bright red flag and we didn’t see it. Once the holiday’s passed and we were in the New Year we thought things would change. We were wrong. We didn’t get our Save The Dates mailed until mid December. February comes along and nothing has changed. No engagement photos or no plan to create our invites in the foreseeable future. Not to mention all of the meetings that were planned but then cancelled several times or rearranged only to be again, cancelled.

In the meantime, while all this was going on, we found out a few of Mark’s groomsmen couldn’t make it. No biggie. Easy fix.

I would say at this point we were tossing around the idea to cancel the wedding but still didn’t convince ourselves to actually do it. We had many discussions about it and I shed a lot of tears, lol. Questions started to pop up like, “why are we doing this if no one cares?”, “why are we going to spend all of this hard earned money for no appreciation?”, “are we even going to enjoy this day knowing it’s just the two of us planning and preparing the whole thing?”.

I distinctly remember the night we decided to follow through with the big wedding. I cried a lot that night but I couldn’t let go of the vision I had in my head of me walking down the aisle and seeing Mark. So, again, on we went! That next day I made our registry, we fired our photographer, and went to go look at wedding bands!

The universe decided to throw yet another test our way.

Long story short, Mark got my engagement ring custom made from Zales back home in PA. Part of the diamond bond/insurance plan is I must get it cleaned and inspected every six months. But of course, the only Zales in Montana closed down for good. This put us in a difficult spot when it came time to get my ring cleaned and inspected. We went to Kays and almost had to buy an entire new engagement ring (luckily we didn’t).

That same day, all of Mark’s groomsmen, except one, called and said they couldn’t make it. At that point I had already cancelled the wedding in my head. So, impromptu, within that hour, we cancelled our wedding and planned to have our big day while we were in Chicago!

Now, why did we pick Chicago? Not only did we have a trip planned for March, it is our absolute favorite city. It’s like a second home to us and I fall in love with it every time we go. I’m not going to go into too much detail about how we planned the BEST day ever in just a few short weeks, but I will say this… We have our wonderful friends who live in Chicago to thank. Without them this wouldn’t have been able to happen. They opened up their home to us, showed us around the city, and made are wedding day better than I ever expected. My best friend and her fiancé also flew into the city for the weekend and I couldn’t have asked anything more from them. I’m just so grateful.

So, even though I gave you the long answer of why we cancelled our wedding, the short answer is because our hearts just weren’t in it anymore. We constantly felt like we were only going through with it to please our friends and family, and well, society.

I think when it comes to weddings society expects this grand finale of a fairytale wedding, but that’s not always the reality of it. There’s this unseen pressure that is put on newly engaged couples to seal the deal with this elaborate show. But for who? Friends and family shouldn’t care how you get married or what it looks it. What happened to the love between the married couple being the most important thing instead of the decorations, dress, and after party? To me, it seems like we’re putting on this so called “wedding” for society and not for ourselves. If social media or cameras didn’t exist would you still have the wedding that’s saved on your Pinterest board? And don’t even get me started about the money.

Weddings are supposed to be about sharing the love between two people with friends and family and I think society has ruined that for us. Yes, I understand some people stick to the traditional path and practice certain religious views. I also realize some couples are fortunate enough to have their weddings paid for, lessening some of the stress. This post isn’t a wedding bashing post. I’m sharing this because I don’t think I need to explain every detail to people as to why we didn’t have the “big” wedding.

I’m calling bullsh*t on this fairytale plan society has created and will continue to march to the beat of my own drum. And I don’t think I should be questioned for it.

So, while I could write out word for word on why we decided to cancel our big wedding (because it wasn’t an easy decision either), I don’t feel like I need to explain myself to everyone. Again, for those of you who are wedding planning, or already have gone through it, you know the amount of stress that comes with it. Mark and I didn’t believe the stress and chaos (that we endured) was worth our happiness, so we changed our plans. Simple as that! No matter what society, or friends and family say, at the end of the day you have to go with what’s going to make YOU happy. Society will forget about you in a day anyways and move onto judging someone else’s life. Moral of the story: follow your f*cking heart.

Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!

XOXO,

D.J.