Onyx Kane’s Birth Story pt. II

For Part I click here.

If you have ever had a baby, then you are familiar with the pressure in your butt and pelvis that happens right before you are about to push. It can be extremely intense, and some women often mistake it for needing to have a bowel movement. I can remember right before getting on the bed telling the nurse I needed to go to the bathroom (this is my body’s way of emptying out and making extra room for baby to move down and out. If you couldn’t care less about the real raw truths of birthing a baby, skip over the next few parts).

I can’t remember at what time I started pushing, but looking back at the time stamps on my photos it was somewhere just after four in the morning. These moments are always a blur for me because I try my hardest to cope with the pain while also listening to my body for when to push. Onyx was already pretty dang low in the birth canal at this point, so it was just a matter of getting him out. I feel like getting him to that point was the hardest I’ve had to work, comparing all of my births. I pushed for a total of fifteen or so minutes until he was born, but it felt so much longer. So what felt like all of eternity getting his head out, I was doing my best to work with my contractions to push him out. In that time, what is every birthing woman’s worst fear, happened to me. Yep, I pooped while pushing my baby out! This may have been my third baby, but it was a first for me and I truly wasn’t even phased. When it happened, I looked at my husband and said “I told you guys I had to go to the bathroom, but no one believed me”- ha! The nurses didn’t even care, they just cleaned it up and moved on! So, if you take anything from this post, it’s to not even worry about pooping while pushing. It’ll most likely happen, and you are the only one who will truly care about it.

Anyways, he eventually started to crown but I could literally feel his head stuck. I felt like I was pushing his head out for the majority of the time. Once his head was completely out, the rest of him was delivered with ease. Onyx Kane was born at four twenty-eight in the morning on August 25, 2022. He was a quiet little guy and barely made a peep! He wanted to immediately nurse which was a first for me! He latched right away, and we spent the next several minutes delivering the placenta and admiring everything had happened.

Shortly after he was born, and my placenta was delivered, I noticed I began to cramp. This is typically common, especially in breastfeeding mamas. Your uterus continues to contract to help prevent hemorrhaging and to get back to normal size. This is when things took a turn. The cramps began to intensify and were all across my abdomen down into my pelvis. When I say they were worse than labor contractions I mean it. We all thought they were just after birth cramps, so I begged for Motrin or Tylenol. The pain never let up and I begged my husband to take Onyx because I couldn’t safely hold him I was in so much pain. The nurses suggested my bladder might be full and helped me to the bathroom. As soon as a I reached the bathroom I started to bleed out. I’ll spare you the exact details, but I have never seen so much blood at once and it wasn’t stopping. One of the nurses even shouted out “that’s a lot of blood”. I began to feel light headed so I was helped back to the bed. The crazy thing was I felt perfectly fine afterwards. It was like night and day; my pain was completely gone.

The next ten to twenty minutes everything changed. The cramps returned but even worse this time. I was already administered Pitocin to help with the bleeding, but it clearly wasn’t working. I remember being in so much pain and screaming for it to stop. I felt the urge to stand up and push, but it was just blood coming out non-stop. At this point in time I laid back in bed and the doctor ordered Cytotec (helps contract the uterus more) and an ultrasound. The Cytotec wasn’t working and the pain was too unbearable to perform the ultrasound, so I was then given pain meds. All I remember was being so out of it. I couldn’t open my eyes but was still uncomfortable and aware of the chaos that was around me. Then I felt like I was going in and out of consciousness, screaming for the pain to stop in between. As my blood pressure dropped and my pulse rose, it was evident I was hemorrhaging.

In a matter of minutes, I was being wheeled away for an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding. It was like my first son’s birth all over again.

I remember feeling super sick after waking up from the anesthesia. I was also very out of it, saying the most ridiculous things of course. Shortly after, I was wheeled back to the room where I began to fully wake up. Being pain free and able to hold my baby again was the most amazing feeling ever. At the same time I felt awful because of all the meds that had been pumping through my body.

Fast forward to the first twenty four hours postpartum; I was a wreck. I couldn’t get out of bed, I felt so weak, and extremely tired. Knowing everything that I just went through, everyone assumed it was to be expected. I eventually had the courage to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. Two of the sweetest nurses came in to help me and I remember crying hysterically because I felt so weak and vulnerable. Simply getting out of bed made me dizzy and see stars. How could I go home and take care of my baby with two toddlers?

Later that day I learned I lost over 2500 mL of blood, which explained all of the symptoms I was experiencing. I also came into labor and delivery with my hemoglobin levels at a 13, after my surgery they were at a 9, and then after twenty four hours they were even lower at a 7. The doctor suggested an iron infusion to help my body make more blood. I was also eating iron rich foods and consuming a lot of vitamin c to help my body better absorb the iron.

I was still feeling pretty crappy and wasn’t able to get out of bed on my own and walk around. I remember feeling so exhausted. It was until the Saturday after I gave birth that I felt like I was making zero progress in my own recovery. That afternoon the doctor checked my hemoglobin levels one more time and discovered they were even lower.

A blood transfusion was needed.

Even though I knew this was needed, it freaked me out. I asked a lot of questions and the nurse was so great about it all. It took a while to get everything started and figured out but once it was going it took about five hours from start to finish. My hemoglobin levels immediately started showing improvements and were up to a 9. We were finally going home late Saturday night.

The days and weeks after Onyx’s birth were rough on my end. The side effects of severe blood loss coupled with a blood transfusion were nothing like I expected. I would say it took about a good two months until I started to feel like myself again, or as normal as one could after just giving birth.

It was a wild ride and to be honest, I would do it all over again for another sweet baby. I love pregnancy and even more so, I love giving birth. I also never want to shed light on any trauma or make this is into a “horror” story for birth. This birth was my favorite out of three and easiest in some ways. It was also the most relaxing labor I had. I never want my experience to scare or upset new and expecting mamas either. Every birth is different and beautiful.

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