Two weeks ago I opened up and shared part of my health and fitness journey. I decided to put it into two separate parts so there wasn’t an overload of information but I also really wanted to share my whole story with y’all in hopes to maybe inspire just one person who reads this. If you haven’t read this first half, go ahead and click this link to check it out!
My Health and Fitness Journey: Part 2
I’m just going to go ahead and jump right in. On the previous post I left off at maintaining a low weight while binge eating. Pressing fast forward to when I started to realize how unhealthy I truly was, I found weight lifting. This was around the year of 2014 when you didn’t see many women lifting weights. But I started to crave something more. I liked the feeling of how strong my body was getting.
In the beginning I had NO clue what I was even doing. I could barely bicep curl ten pounds and I probably did the same exercises each time I went to the gym. But like most things, you learn from doing and from experience. So in a few short months I started learning more and more. I learned a lot about the muscle groups and different exercises to target different areas. I soon then discovered IIFYM, or if it fits your macros. (I won’t take the time to explain what this is in full depth so use google to your advantage and research it). I was sooo intrigued, I jumped right in and taught myself how to count my daily intake of carbs, fats, and proteins. I became hooked very quickly.
Unfortunately, I was not healed from my previous disordered eating habits and over exercising so I took IIFYM to the extreme. I was obsessed with all of the control I had over what I was eating and the numbers. In addition to IIFYM, I started getting serious in the gym and was working out 6-7 days a week, lifting weights, trying to put on as much muscle as I could. Again, this phase of my life lasted on and off for about a year. I continued to weight lift but would go back and forth between counting macros and not counting them. The catch was, the foods I was eating weren’t even nourishing my body. I was using IIFYM as an excuse to eat “fun” foods while still considering myself “healthy”. I can’t really express anymore how unhealthy I was. Sure, I was eating a good amount of food and I worked out everyday, but my mental health and emotional attachment towards this lifestyle was obsessive and not fun.
I don’t remember if I mentioned this in my last post, but not only was I in an unhealthy mindset with my health and fitness goals, I was also not in a healthy mindset in my life in general. I was using IIFYM and weight lifting as an escape, but in the worse way possible. It was something I had complete control over and that is why I hung on to it for so long, no matter how unhealthy it was.
At some point when I left and let go over what was making me unhappy, everything else started to fall into place. (Funny how that works, huh?) And since then, life has been so enjoyable.
I can’t even pinpoint the exact moment when I started to take care of my health for ME and not for some outside source. I do know it was around summer of 2015, when my life truly changed for the better. But by 2016 I could honestly say I loved my body and I loved taking care of myself so I could function properly, not to look or feel better. I stopped tracking macros and I stopped obsessing over my workouts. I just did things for ME and it was so refreshing.
Again, I can’t pinpoint the exact moment in my life where things got “better”. But the one thing I can tell you is things started to happened for me the moment I stopped holding onto toxic relationships and toxic habits. And as cliche as this may sound, when I learned how to truly love myself, I could start to appreciate what my body can do for me. It took a lot of self discipline and realization, but I also owe a huge thanks to my fiancé for being the biggest supporter, like ever.
Today, in 2018, I can proudly, and confidently, say I am the healthiest version of myself. I am beyond happy with my life, my diet choices, and fitness regimen. On this long journey I have finally found peace with myself and what works for me. I could easily sit here and write out every little detail and challenge I encountered over the years but I don’t want to just highlight the low moments.
I decided to share my journey to show you I’m not perfect and I have come a long way to get to where I am. It was difficult but to be able to come out on the other side feeling this good, makes it all worth it.
So, if you’re struggling right now, no matter it is, keep pushing. Change doesn’t happen overnight, it’s something you have to endure and I promise you’ll come out of it stronger than ever and with more appreciation for the things you have. Happiness is not a destination, it’s the moment you are in right now.
Share your thoughts with me! Comment below or head to my Instagram page (@iamdevonjade)!